A delayed confession

I admit that I havent been pausing to do a self-check for quite some time. Every morning, as I get ready for the day, I notice a pair of eyes, my nose, lips, skin, eyebrows and perhaps some blemishes staring back at me in the mirror. And that's that. Only my physical features. It's like I've forgotten who I really was inside. I havent really seen my reflection of the real me for quite some time. I was starting to fear that the real me might disappear and be replaced by a creature I didnt quite like. A creature with a harden heart and softer hands and feet. And so, I took a real look at myself today. I took out my journal, pressed out a clean page and began to write.

I'm at a point where I'm uncertain of the ideals I'm holding. When one is uncertain of one's identity, one becomes insecure. Of course, there's a few basic mantras that I constantly recite to myself such as - make sure your actions are not at the expense of others, treat others like you like to be treated, everyone should be given a 2nd chance, forgive because if you don't, the only person you'll hurt is yourself. That being said, I dont like my insecurities bouncing off others - unconsciously it happens. I caught myself red-handed the other day when I found myself casually dismissing someone's ideals. I found myself silently mouthing the words 'seriously...get real'. Though on the balance of probabilities, she'll probably find herself caught in her failed reality, who am I to dismiss her. Where's the hope and the faith. There's a mantra that I recite to myself once in a while- for all those who do not believe that they can, step back and stop holding back those who believe they can. So, for my own sake, I should stop being a hypocrite and start pulling my act together. To love is to hold hope and faith in firstly, yourself and and then, in those around you. That's why its said ' to love your neighbour as you love yourself'. How do one love his neighbour when he cannot first love himself. I now understand.