Touching Australian soil

Finally, I managed to send off whatever I needed to do. The last 16 hours have been torturous but it's all worth it, cause now, at 2 am, I just need to pack my bags, cook, clean the house, shower, find myself a cab, drag myself through the airport terminal and slum in one of the passenger seats. I don't think I'll be a very interesting nor chatty passenger companion tomorrow. But I do need my shut-eye!

It's been one year since I've left Australian soil and I cannot wait to head back, breathe the fresh air, run around Alexander Gardens, let grains of St Kilda beach sand run through my fingers, go penguin spotting at the pier, climb the thousand steps at the Dandenong ranges and best of all, spend Easter with my loved ones and friends.

People say you don't know what you missed till its gone. I think sometimes you won't know what you've miss till you're back.

Conflicts

The past few days have been pretty emotionally draining for me. By nature, I’m not a very confrontational person. If I was upset with a friend or a close one, I will ponder upon it for days, months and sometimes years. Nowadays, I would try to firstly ask myself, whether I, objectively speaking, had a part to blame or whether I blowing the entire thing out of proportion. After my somewhat objective analysis, then I’ll perhaps confront the person if its worth the cause.

This week, I’ve encountered a conflict with a friend, discussed past conflicts that I had with another old friend and also listened to a story about conflicts between a different friend and her partner. So when I try to analyze all three scenarios, I summarize that the conflicts are caused by two main reasons: unmet expectations and clash in values.

Everyone has his or her own strength and weaknesses. Perhaps, you may be a good listener but your friend is not. Then, you wonder why is that person so selfish? Why does he/she only talk about himself/herself as if the world revolves around that person? But perhaps listening is not one of their strengths or if you look at it in a positive light, perhaps they like ranting out to you because they are comfortable with you, that’s why their problems always end up being the table topic. Or perhaps, a person is not good at maintaining friendships. Maybe for that person, friendships, like the seasons in a year, work in cycles. I used to hold close to my heart who I believe are my close friends. So I used to get really affected if they don’t keep in contact as often as they should. But I’ve let that expectation go. I realized that everybody is busy with their lives and I bask in the happy memories and lessons I’ve drawn from having them once in my life.

What I’ve learnt from all my reflection is to not be so affected by people’s shortcomings. What they lack in some areas, they make up in others. At the end of the day, it’s their strengths in the other areas that drew me close to them in the first place. And perhaps, their strengths are my weaknesses. If I had to really sum up all my lessons in one word, its “grace”. When we were young, we were naïve and believe all was good in this world. Then, we realized the world is not all rainbows and butterflies. Then the real test of maturity arrives, when we realize that the world can be ugly but we still choose to practice “grace” and believe the best in everyone. This test is what I call the test of adulthood.

On Candles

Every now and then I meet someone who would leave an impression on my life and even when we only had a brief encounter, that person would unknowingly change me a little. And that person does not necessarily have to be someone I’m close to. I might not even know their last name. It could be the way they carry themselves or the way she bites her lips as she carefully ponders the next question or the way he seem to ask the right questions at the most opportune time. It seems like they have this insight to a whole new world that I’ve never seen before and so I’m drawn to what I call their “x factor”. Once in a while I think about these people who have marked my life and I wonder whether they are doing okay. I wonder whether are still carrying that light in them and unconsciously lighting the candles of others as they did mine.

Revelation

From tonight's episode at home:

Me: Do you want ginseng chicken soup?
Brother: No.
Me: Why not? It's good for you.
Brother: No.

*5 minutes later I placed a bowl of ginseng soup in front of him*

An hour later:

Me: Do you want probiotic pills?
Brother: No.
Me: It's good for you.
Brother: Okay, I'll have one.
Me: Take two.
Brother: Okay.


















Is this a revelation of the kind of mother I will be? O o...

Help

I'm struggling for healthy breakfast ideas. After months of the usual yoghurt and muesli routine, I'm getting tired of it. I don't quite like drinking milk, plus I never finish my carton of milk in the fridge hence milk with muesli is not an option.

I don't quite like eating toast because it's not enticing enough and it's not exactly healthy.


What's a healthy, yummy and easy-to-make breakfast alternative?

New blog header

haha, i created it because i wanted to play around with photoshop. Don't think it will be up for long though, only till I come up with something better (or more meaningful).

Out with the old and in with the new

Its 12 am and I'm a hyper bunny right now. I just had two cups of coffee and a pot of tea! I was out for coffee with a bunch of girlfriends and I was really zoning out of the conversation. My mind gets that way sometimes but tonight I was so out of it to the point that I think I was being downright rude.

"So jo, are you coming for the event?"

"Sorry, what event again?"

"Event xyz"

"Em, when is it again?"

So coffee it was! Felt much better after that. Unfortunately, I'm really hyper right now. I will use my energy to blog!

Anyway, a month ago, I've decided to make the courageous move to chop off my long hair. I've been deliberating for a while but I've never had the guts to do it. You see its a big deal to me because the last time I had short hair, I was 4 years old. After that, it was long hair all the way.

Long hair felt like a safety net. Horrible fringe? That's okay, your long hair will make up for it. Chubby cheeks? Your long hair will cover it. Hairdresser having pms and gave you a bad hair cut? Get your hair cut again - there's room (hair) for error.

One fine day, last month, I've decided to book an appointment at the hairdressers. Counting down to THE day, I've sought various opinions from different people on whether I should make that bold move. I think there were 9 nays and only 1 ay. So on the day of the appointment, I decided to cancel my slot. But when i arrived, I felt bad for doing a last minute cancellation and thought that I should just get a trim anyway.

An hour later, I walked away with a short bob and feeling 100 kgs lighter. Allow me to tell you what changed my fickle mind again.

It was simple. It was the hairdresser's taunting. She taunted me, I tell you. It was like a dare.

Upon sitting down on the chair, she asked me, "How would you like your hair cut?"

Me: Do you think short hair would suit me?

She: Short hair can suit anyone. It depends on whether you like it or not.

Me: Hm, but what do you think works for me?

10 second pause

She: You should just stick with long hair.

Me: Why?

Another 10 second pause (I think it was deliberate, for dramatic effect)

She: Cause you're not ready.

Me: Why do you say that?

She: Cause I just know it. I can see it in a customer. I'll know whether she is ready or not. You are not ready.

Me: What? Maybe I'm ready. I want to cut my hair short.

She: Most customers walk in here thinking they are ready but really, they are not. They walk away regretting their decisions. I don't want you to regret yours.

Me: I'm ready! Cut my hair short.

She: You sure you won't regret this?

Me: I'm sure. Just do it now before i change my mind. Quickly, take the first snip!

So within seconds, she chops off a huge chuck of my hair.

And you know what, I felt nothing - no regret nor pain. On the contrary, I immediately embraced my new look. In fact, I'm thinking of cutting it even shorter. Since it's already short, I might as well go for the full effect. After all, hair grows =)


Using Mac webcam




When my hair is styled

The eye

I'm finally making use of my wacom tablet. For the first time ever, I've decided to experiment in digital art. It is so fascinating! Sigh, should have discovered this earlier! I'm having a ball just playing with my tablet and experimenting with different colours and digital tools!

Drawing/painting digitally was quite daunting initially because its definitely not the same as drawing on paper. You can't physically blend colours together and its a strange feeling having to look elsewhere (screen) while your pen manouvers around the tablet. I was really clumsy with the digital pen at first but after a while, I started warming up to it.

Here's my first sketch ever~! It's very raw but I'm quite satisfied considering this is my first try =)




Same piece as above, but i added subtle "noise" (texture) to the skin.

I'm loving my disney songs

Ever since I can remember, my dad had always complains that "they don't make songs like they used to anymore". He claims that modern songs are mostly just noise without any real meaning. And every time some current singer makes a remake of a classic old song, my dad goes, "you see, songs of my generation are so good that modern singers make a remake of them."

*roll eyes*

But in recent years, I've been catching myself saying the same stuff as my dad as well.

They don't make disney movies like they used to anymore!

Disney movies these days have no meaning. The young audience only want to laugh at silly things the cartoon characters do. I miss the whole wicked stepmother, prince charming and happy ever after concept. Nobody can get bored of a good fairy tale. In my opinion, the last great disney movie was toy story (the fact that the soundtrack was awesome is an added bonus). Okay, and maybe..finding Nemo.

Other that that, boo yah. nothing great.

Here are some of my favourite disney songs:

Mulan: A girl worth fighting for


Cinderella: Mouse song


The little Mermaid: Kiss the girl


Beauty and the Beast: Belle

Relationship between exercise and sleep

This year, I've taken up kickboxing as a form of exercise. I try to attend about 2-3 sessions per week. The class is pretty intense and most people there are EXTREMELY fit. I'm talking about guys & girls with black belts in karate. They train pretty much everyday. After a kickboxing session, they would run back to the changing room, change into their karate outfits and then join the karate class. On the other hand, I'll be so buggered that all I'll be thinking about is food and water.

Yesterday I had a pretty intense session as I had a 45 minute personal training session which was immediately followed by the usual 1.5 hour class. At the end of it, my hands were trembling so much, I had difficulty typing smses (My hands are still trembling today. I tried to paint earlier but failed pathetically).

That being said, last night, I had the best sleep ever. I immediately fell into dreamland the moment my head touched the pillow. Today is one of those rare days that I woke up feeling extremely fresh despite sleeping for only 6 hours. Good sleep is a rare treat for me as I usually wake up feeling like death has hit me despite sleeping a good 8 hours. I attribute this treat to my intense workout yesterday. Bring it on!

Salt attack

Dad has been cooking lots. As much as I appreciate the gesture, I always shudder at the amount of salt he uses in the food. We always tease him by asking him whether he is enjoy his dish of salt or soy sauce and whether that piece of chicken/pork/beef is a good condiment for his dish.

Eat less sodium kids! Excessive salt is bad for you.

From BBC News

Why is too much salt bad?

In adults, when levels of sodium are too high, the body retains too much water and the volume of bodily fluids increases.

Many scientists, although not all, believe this process is linked to high blood pressure, or hypertension, which in turn is linked to a greater risk of coronary heart disease and stroke.

With high levels of fluid circulating through the brain there is a greater chance that weaknesses in the brain's blood vessels are exposed, and that they may burst, causing a stroke.

Similarly, a greater volume of fluid passing through the heart can place additional strain on the organ, increasing the possibility of coronary disease.

However, there are many potential causes of hypertension and coronary heart disease, and some scientists deny that salt plays any significant role at all.

An adult will be able to remove salt from the body through the kidneys into the urine.

However, very young babies do not have the capacity to process large quantities of salt as the kidneys are not yet developed.

If they are given adult food with a higher salt content before they are at least four months old, excess sodium can accumulate in the body, causing kidney, liver and brain damage, and in very occasional cases, death.

It is recommended that babies are given only milk, whether breast or formula, for the first four months of life.

Baby foods are supposed to contain lower levels of salt, and it is recommended that if adult foods are to be given, unprocessed foods should be used, and no salt added.

How much salt should we eat?

The government recommends that adults should eat 6g of salt a day. However, the average intake of salt is between 9g and 10g a day.

Experts estimate that if average consumption was cut to 6g a day it would prevent 70,000 heart attacks and strokes a year.

The main sources of salt in the diet are processed foods and salt added during cooking or at the table. Meat and meat products, and bread can also be high in salt.

Processed foods are thought to account for around 75% of the average person's salt intake.

However, research published in The Lancet medical journal suggested that most people could not tell the difference between loaves with markedly different salt content.

Salt is added to processed foods to aid preservation and to improve taste. Sodium is present in additives such as monosodium glutamate and sodium bicarbonate.

Small amounts of sodium can be found naturally in some foods such as eggs and fish.

The salt we sprinkle on our food from cellar accounts for only 10%-15% of our intake.

Of food poisoning and golf balls

This weekend, I've been down with a bout of food poisoning. Not cool at all. The suspect? A tiny piece of raw king fish I had for lunch yesterday at a little Japanese Cafe in Chinatown. How does one tiny piece of fish cause me so much pain and grieve?

Backtracking little...I've been taught that life is about causes and effects. So, I was going to meet H in the city for lunch. But the yam char place we intended to patronized was closed. We stood there for about a mere minute at the entrance of the restaurant when objects that looked like...golf balls started falling from the sky! Not kidding. It was freaky (like the 'cloudy with a chance of meatballs' movie) Everyone started running for shelter. Upon closer inspection, the golf balls were actually abnormally huge pieces of ice. It was hailing. Then without any warning, the sky got really angry. I haven't seen Melbourne hit by rain so hard before.

We waited under the shelter for about 30 minutes till the rain subsided a little and then we quickly ran to the nearest eatery which was that dodgy Jap cafe. So really, the real culprit was the golf balls falling from the sky. Had it not hailed, I wouldn't have risked my tummy in that questionable cafe.

And just before, I cooked myself a nice piece of Wagyu steak. It was the most delicious thing I've cooked in a while. The meat was lined with fat that melts in your mouth. So good! I was in euphoria....for about 5 minutes till I instinctively ran to the bin. I could feel my stomach churning.

"Don't puke. Its a good piece of EXPENSIVE steak! Don't puke. Don't puke! You'll need to cook lunch again!" I kept telling myself over and over again.

Let's just say my meditation did not work. I'll keep the gross details to myself.




At Flinders Street Station


Fancy a swim?

Source of pics

Leaving on a jet plane

Ill be off to Singapore tomorrow!

I'm currently packing my bag. I've realised that whether I'm travelling for one week, two weeks or a month, I'll pack about the same amount of clothes/stuff: 1 pair of high heels, 1 pair of sandals, 1 runners, make up pouch, 1 formal dress, 4-5 casual dresses, 2 casual tops, 2 tops for sports, 3 pairs of shorts, 1-2 pairs of pjs, 1 belt, 1 scarf, 2 jackets (one for the plane and a light cardigan), 1 pair of sunnies, 1 bikini, undergarments, 1 journal, 1 bible, 1 book to read, 1 laptop, 1 ipod and lots of cables - for phones, camera, laptop.

How do you define yourself?

A friend posted that question to me tonight.

I paused for a while and answered, "I don't know." I felt foolish. Its like not being able to give an answer when asked to list three strong qualities of yourself at a job interview. It shows that you are unsure of yourself, that you aren't confident and that you came unprepared.

I told him that I honestly cannot give him an answer. If I was asked that question a year ago, I would have given him a totally different answer. I would probably describe my passions, my strengths and weaknesses. That I love travelling. I love new ideas. I like writing but I don't do it very well. That I live off passion. I'm stubborn. I can be quite ill-disciplined. I'm very curious about life - about why people do the things they do and why do people say the things they say. And the list can go on. But ask me today, and I tell you that I now know much less of myself than I did before. I became uncertain about the things I thought I was sure of. My perceptions of myself and my view of life have been teared apart. I now question what I thought was fundamental in relationships. What I thought was important to me now lies at the bottom of my priority list.

Perhaps, that's why I haven't really been blogging. I have hundreds of drafts. I type half an entry and then I save it. Simply because, I dont know whether I believe in what I write anymore.

I guess I'm in the process of redefining who I am. It came unexpectedly but in a way, I'm glad it did. Because, knowing that I don't know anything has humbled me.

I finally did it

Cars and I don't gel very well. I don't pay too much attention to them. I've mistaken a BMW for a Honda or a BMW for a Merc many a time. They all look the same to me, so long as its approximately the same colour (all dark colour cars look the same). Two weeks ago, I told a couple of people that K recently acquired a blue Honda Prelude. It turned out to be a blue Skyline. At least I got the colour right. A couple of times, I've walked up to a car, yanked on the door knob and asked myself, "why can't I open the door?!?" only to realise a few seconds too late that I'm trying to open the door of the wrong car.

So, the inevitable occured today.

Today, A accompanied me to buy some fruits and vegetables. I happily picked out my fruits and vegetables for the next week, crossed the road and proceeded back to his car (or so I thought). I then yanked the door open and was about to slide my body inside and plonk myself on the seat, when just in the nick of time, at the corner of my eye, I noticed a man recoiling in horror, with his eyes bulging out, jaw dropped and hands up in the air, like a man at war caught by surprise by his enemy.

Then there was that two second freeze, where I stared at him and he stared at me while I trying to process all that information in my brain, "Why is there a strange man in my seat? Why does he look so shocked? O o..is this the right car? Oh no, I almost sat in a strange man's lap."

I quickly slammed the door shut, did a quick apologetic wave and ran in front. To say I was slightly embarassed was an understatement.

A who then noticed what happened, started laughing and said, "You were about to make a stranger's dream come true."

I glared at him and said, "Don't bring it up."

To which he replied, "It will be tonight's topic of conversation with the boys."

Perfunctory

I have been contemplating shutting down my blog for a while. I have lost the ability to express how I feel on this blog. Everything has boiled down to a string of meaningless entries – pictures, what I have been doing and a couple of videos. And my entries are few and far in between. It’s not who I am. In fact, I now don’t know who I am. All I know is that I haven’t been happy for a while. And the state I was in was unhealthy. If there’s anything I learn from the past few months, is firstly to always trust your gut instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it is not right.

Secondly, always remember that you are worthy because you are a child of God. So many words and accusations have been thrown my way – I’m insecure, emotionless, cold, unaffectionate, standoff-ish. I know that the daggers have been thrown without spite or ill intentions but it was out of frustration. But harm has been done. It affected my self-esteem and my sense of self-worth.

Anyway, the point of it all this is to say that I’m in a better place. I hold no grudges. If anything, I now understand myself a little better. I know that tomorrow will be better than today and today is better than yesterday. And that means, I’ll be back to my cheery self. If I could have turned back time, I would have done some things differently. But we make our choices and live with the consequences. Carpe diem.

I'll end this entry with a video. MUST WATCH!

I gotta feelin' that today is gonna be a good day....

Too cute

On my birthday, dad calls...

Dad: Happy birthday.
Me: Thank you
Dad: How are you?

*me thinks, I just saw you a couple of hours ago. We live in the same house!*

...
Love teasing dad because he portrays himself as oh-so-manly sometimes.

Me: Is Mr... your best friend?
Dad: I dont have a best friend.
Me: But he is your most favourite friend friend, yeah?
Dad: Yeah
Me: So, he is your best friend!
Dad: ...

...
Dad: Will you be home for dinner?
Me: No, heading out
Dad: What about me? Youll be out, shen (brother) will be out, mum will be out. What am I going to do?
Me: You can take my place. I'm always stuck at home while you guys gallivant.
Dad: O...okay.


Too cute!

Exchange of vows

The perfect wedding ceremony.

I can tell that they will probably have a wonderful marriage =)

I'm Yours - McDonalds version

If you are down, this is guaranteed to make you smile

The weekend

The Point, Albert Park Lake


Complimentary steak bits starter


Caramelised chicken wings, pumpkin gnocchi, emulsion of potato and black truffle


250g Waygu Scotch fillet



Lorne, Great Ocean Road






I accompanied J for a car cruise at a Great Ocean Road on Sunday morning. A car cruise sounds more interesting than it really is. Basically consist of a huge convoy of cars driving to a certain destination and back. It was an early start. We left Melbourne at 5.30 am, got to Lorne by 8, headed to Apollo Bay but turned back because I started feeling car sick, took a stroll by the beach in Lorne, had brekkie, watched the sky turn gray, jumped back into the car and got back to Melbourne by 11.30 am.