Intimacy

Here's a backdated entry from my other private journal for your reading pleasure. I thought of sharing this with you guys because it captured exactly how I felt at that particular time. Hopefully, some of you can relate to it in one way or another =)

There are days that I feel better and there are days that I don’t. And I wonder whether you love me any less than you did 6 days ago. And I lay in bed tonight wondering what is this connection that we have between us. I ask you so many questions all the time. Over the phone, in the car and on the bed late into the night - how was your first kiss? do you fear moths too? And many answers began with - you want to hear a secret? My ears will perk up, I will lean in and hold my breathe like its the biggest secret in the whole world. And when I’m allowed into your world, it felt like I was inside a secret, formidable place that not many have stepped into. It was beautiful that way.

To be precise, I started allowing you into my world from the very first day. Everything started during our first argument in the car (first of many to come) on the first day we met. In the heat of our fume and anger, I showed you the worst of me. I said everything in brutal truth and honesty. All pretenses were dropped. And that was how intimacy began…