My first and last letter to you

Dear you,

Remember the first time we spoke that fateful morning? We were both waiting for the library doors to open and I stood next to you. The foyer was dead quiet. The few people there were just sleepily waiting for the doors to open. But you turned to me and asked me aloud whether we have done any classes together before. I told you that I didn't think so. You said that we did. We took the EPM subject together the semester before and had classes on Wednesdays at 2.15 pm. I was surprised that you remembered such detailed information. You asked me whether I studied law. I said yes and asked you the same question in return. You said no.

So I asked you why were you carrying so many law books. You told me that you were helping this girl with her 5 000 word essay. Subsequently, you asked me for my phone number so that we could study together. Before I could mutter a word, you quickly told me not to worry as the girl you were doing the essay for was not your girlfriend, even though you slogged away helping her with it. I was stunned and did not mutter a word for a few seconds. You see my dear friend, I was not used to such brutal honesty. Normally conversations were covered with layers of pure flattery, lies and bush-beating to what conventional society call social etiquette. And that was our first conversation. An honest one.

Dear friend, it's exactly 24 days to your birthday. When you announced that you were going to have a big celebration for your birthday this year and seemed so hyped up about it, I was amused. Simply because, Ive never seen someone so excited about one's 23rd birthday 7 months in advanced. You see, seeking pleasure in the simplest things is rare these days, to the point that one might be deemed a fool. The world taught us that. But you saw it differently. I also remember how excited you were telling me that you were going to join this karaoke competition. Or how you cooked up a storm for your friends. How can one be so excited to give, I thought.

Your quirkiness, honesty and optimism are akin to finding diamonds in one own's backyard. You are definitely one in a million.

So today I heard news about your passing. I was deeply shocked. I know about the Victorian bush fires and feel saddened when I see pictures or read the papers. I even donated a meager amount of $8 at the post office for the Victorian Bushfire Appeal the other day. But it only struck a deep trembling chord in me when I knew you had unfortunately perished in the fire too. Posts on your Facebook wall confirmed your passing. I'm still in disbelief. Just the other day, I deleted a voicemail from you . I'm sorry I didn't pick up your call. I wasn't in Melbourne then. If I knew how fate would spin out, I would have kept that voicemail and play that voicemail just once more. And perhaps, over and over again.

God gives life and takes it away. But you're merely 22 going on 23. Dear God, wasn't he a little too young to move on from this world? He had his whole life ahead of him. But alas, life's a journey and then you die. So quit worrying. Just do the best you can and that's all one can ask for. I took that off your Facebook page. Well said.

My dear friend, I am signing off now as I need to move on to other stuff. I've been typing this for a while. Like you said, we need to make the best of what we can. And that is what I'm going to try to do. But when I'm standing outside the library, singing karaoke or birthday songs, I'll remember you and whisper a prayer for you and your family.

Rest in peace Jaeson Castillo Hermocilla.

Yours sincerely,
Joanne